I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
- Rascal Flatts


You might be wondering right now why I've taken the time to put these lyrics on here, since all you have to do is Google them on your own free time. Well, there is a point behind this, and I don't know if you'll see it as clearly as I do, but I hope you get the basic idea and understand at least a little.
As the emoticon at the top of this says, i feel defeated. I've put up with a lot in life. I'm not complaining. I've loved moving and living internationally; I've learned a lot from it. I'm not saying my life is any worse than yours or his. I'm just saying that I, myself, feel defeated from everything that has been thrown at me. My best friend began dating my brother, and I went from the person she turned to with everything, to that annoying little sister that follows the brother around when he's got the girlfriend at home. She doesn't respect me anymore. My brother and I have been fighting a lot because of it. Well, long story short, I was pretty much forced to give her up, and let my brother have her by my parents. Not really cool in my opinion.
On top of losing my best friend, the guy who I liked before I left decided to screw everything up, and again, long story short, made one of his ex's hate me, and tell me how much of a b**** i am, and such. So things between us are rocky right now. I mean, I was the idiot to think that we could go out when I got back, but whatever.
The guy I like is also being an idiot. He's new to our school. He acts like he likes me all the time. Stares at me in classes, and if there's something I need help with he'll help me like that *snaps* But then, he's a jerk to me when certian people are around. This pisses me off, just, either act one way or another way! Anyway, he's a sweetheart really, he's just got his issues, like everyone does. I have many issues People have told me that they think he likes me, but he hasn't mentioned anything; the only thing he does really, is sing oldies/love songs/and my favourite songs in the halls when we're walking to classes together. *sighs* I just don't know what to do about him.
Also, if you don't know, I moved from the Dominican Republic back to Kuwait. I spent the summer months in Canada. *ps, this is where the song comes in* Around the end of the time that I was in the DR, i realized that I was in love. In love with the only guy who had been really sweet to me the whole year. He was always there, even though his damn best friend was being a capital B, and pretty much forcing him away from me every time i came around. So, the chorus in this song *which the guy mentioned in the paragraph before told me i should download* says "what hurts the most is being so close..." Well, that's how I feel about Jose, and my friends and family in Canada. I hope they know just how much i love them.
Anyway, my ranting is over.
If you actually took the time to read this, kudos to you!
*hugs*